Bananas and texting

16 Apr

I am exceeding glad that I have friends.  Please be amused by the following text conversation between me and one of my besties this morning:

Emily:  Want to go to emerald city and get smoothies?

Me:  I’m in the middle of baking

Emily:  YOU’RE BAKING?!??!?!  ok i’ll get you a smoothie and come right over!  what are you making and what kind of smoothie do you want?

Me:  I’m making banana muffins and would like  a peach passion smoothie with SOY MILK and SOY protein please!

Emily:  Babe, I know you’re a vegan… the caps were not needed.

Me:  haha, sorry.  I’m just in that kind of mood today.

Emily:  should I stand 6 feet back?

I love that this is how well my friends know me.  They know my quirks and idiosyncrasies – like the fact that I’m vegan, that I hate wearing my hair down, that I make sound effects and narrate while I drive, and that I HATE bananas (those caps were absolutely necessary).

I know what you’re thinking.  In fact, I bet you just scrolled back up to that text conversation and went, “uh, but you just said you were making banana muffins – am I missing something?”

Maybe you are missing something.

Let me explain.  I despise bananas will all my soul.  I hate the way they taste, their texture, how they get random brown spots for no reason, and the fact that they make anything within a two mile radius of them smell and taste like bananas.  I don’t like them plain, I don’t like them in smoothies, and I don’t like them in fruit salads (Sam I am…).

But I love banana bread.

Go ahead, call me crazy.  But I bet at least half of you hate tomatoes but love ketchup, spaghetti sauce and/or salsa.  Am I right?  Of course I am…

These muffins are chunky-dory and totally (almost) came from my own head.  They are, and I quote, “a mixture of pancakes, oatmeal, and sunshine,” according to one satisfied eater.  I used the Better Homes and Gardens recipe for banana bread as a jumping off point because that’s the one I was raised on.

But these muffins are like banana bread on steroids.  Get excited.

Please humor me while I go on  a banana rant for a few seconds:

“Ba-na-na-na, ba-na-na-na. hey hey hey, good bye…”

“Bananananananana banananananana banananananana BAT MAN!”

Ok, I’m done now.

I am glad I have friends, but I am also glad I have parents.  My mother has been nagging me for months to do muffins instead of more cupcakes.

Well, here you go mom.  Enjoy the muffins.

BANANA MUFFINS ( makes about 28 super-decent sized muffins; if you’re not in the market for so many, go ahead and halve the recipe, as I doubled it in the first place because I had 10 bananas lying around)

  • 1 1/2 c. AP whole wheat flour
  • 1 1/2 c. oats (not those wussy instant ones, real legit extra-thick, Bob’s Red Mill oats)
  • 3 tsp. baking powder
  • 1 tsp baking soda
  • 1/2 tsp. salt
  • 1/2 tsp. cinnamon
  • 1/4 tsp. nutmeg
  • 1/4 c. ground flax combined with 3/4 c. water
  • 10 bananas, mashed (I left mine fairly chunky, partly because I wanted them chunky, and partly because my laziness got the better of me after five minutes of trying to mash with a fork…)
  • 2 c. brown sugar
  • 1 c. margarine, melted
  • vanilla and almond extracts
Preheat your hot box to 350°F.  Line your muffin tin with paper liners (or grease them, whatever floats your boat).  Combine your mashed banana, flax mixture, melted margarine, sugar, extract.  Add the dry ingredients to your banana mixture and mix!  BUT NOT TOO MUCH.  You don’t want tough muffins.  Scoop into your muffin tin (you can fill these more than you would fill them for cupcakes, partly because nobody cares if your muffins have love handles – that’s why they’re called muffin tops, duh!).  Bake for 27 – 30ish minutes.
Enjoy fresh out of the oven, or not so much fresh out of the oven.  Either way, they’re amazing.  🙂
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